My sincere apologies Javier Bardem, I am going to have to rethink this relationship

Oh Javier Bardem, what can I say? I want to see you in Biutiful, I really do. But that was the unrealistic me who included you on my Netflix queue. The same one that mistakenly purchases rice milk or granola bars at the grocery store.  I really think I am going to enjoy them but really, they just sit in my home until their expiration date comes and goes. But no Javier, no. There is no expiration date with you. With you I must surrender to your demands and spend more than two hours reading or I must face defeat and mail you back, unwatched.

There is no way of me saying, “oh, I would have enjoyed your movie Javier, but I ran out of time. I had to send you back.”  Sure, I understand. Your film Biutiful was very clear with me from the start. You needed a serious commitment. But I, being the pie-in-the-sky kind of girl I am, saw what I wanted to see. I saw an “engrossing character study ” and a “haunting tale.” What I failed to see, or really, refused to see, was two-and-a-half hours with subtitles.

Normally, at any other time in my life I would jump at the chance to spend the night with you. I would pop you in the DVD player and sit back and relax. I would be there for you, 100%. But my life is complicated right now. I need a movie that will let me pay bills while I watch, or rummage through the fridge. I am not saying that is all I want in a movie but right here, right now, I don’t have any other choice.

So I guess I have to own my shortcomings Javier. I have to say goodbye.  I have to break the chain of always looking for what I need in all the wrong films. It won’t be easy. But it is best, for both of us. So my beloved and Biutiful Javier I say goodbye to you and say hello to the next film in my queue, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest. They speak English in Sweden right?

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